The Beach: Weekend Agenda: Final Weekend

Weekend Agenda: Final Weekend
Friday, August 31, 2007

Like watching a crash in slow motion, you knew how this was going to end. But it's here. The last weekend of the summer. Let's make it a good one.

Bling But No Bang: Celebrate the fact that, as of Tuesday, you can no longer wear white. Everyone thought Diddy sold out earlier in the summer when he threw a mid-summer white party at the Hampton Bays club, the Whitehouse. But Diddy didn't disappoint because he's throwing the usual shindig this Sunday at his East Hampton home. The guest list will be decidedly more discerning than the last affair and $40 won't get you in the door. And sadly, East Hampton Town nixed his fireworks permit, so it'll have to be a demure, subtle affair.

Fake Breasts, Fake Blonds: Stereo by the Shore may actually have the lowest collective IQ of any spot in the Hamptons tonight. Quoth the press release: "What causes an internationally celebrated rock-icon to sublimate his ego and surrender to the irresistible allure of synthesized beats, dirty electro basslines, and searing, loopy melodies?" Stereo by the Shore, natch. Tommy Lee is DJing tonight—yeah, we know, it's kind of like watching Mike Tyson figure skate.

Plovers Leave, Party Begins: Latisha "Kill Joy" Coy, East Hampton's Piping Polver Moniter, has decreed that we can now celebrate Fourth of July. (Of note: earlier this week, she roundly and vehemently denied reports that plovers were perpetrating attacks on beachgoers.) With the little birds gone, the East Hampton fireworks start at around 8 on Saturday night at Main Beach. Go. Celebrate everything that makes this country great. Like endangered animals.

Big Hats and Botox: Should you feel the need to wear a big hat this weekend, we highly recommend doing it at the Hampton Classic. On Grand Prix Sunday, large quantities of money will be given out to rich people riding horses. Basically, the event is just like polo: Big tent, horses and nobody paying attention to the competition. You can, however, watch the children of celebrities (Bloomberg, Springsteen, Dobbs—we know, the last one's a stretch) on horses. Which is way more fun than going to the beach.

Happy Last Weekend.
· Tommy Lee in the Hamptons [Long Island Exchange]
· Plovers Attack! Fear Seizes Hamptons [NYM]

Filed under Intel: At Your Service,

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