The Beach: About Town: The Word Archives

About Town: The Word Archives

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Last Weekend Wrap: Diddy, Rock Stars & Horses

Shed a tear, shake the last of the sand out of your beach bag before stowing it for the winter and reflect back on what was an incredible summer. Labor Day weekend did not disappoint: the weather was perfect, the parties were hopping and if you spent the weekend asleep on the beach, here's what you missed...

The rock gods dusted off the cobwebs and stepped up to the stage at Jon Bon Jovi's end of the summer party. No less than Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, Jimmy Buffett and Pink Floyd's Roger Waters all took the stage to jam together for an hour. Bruce springsteen was there, though he missed the jam session but that didn't stop New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine from leading the crowd out on the dance floor. As one guest said: "It was the first Hamptons party in years that was actually fun." (Clearly, this guest missed the Burger Off.)

The strictest dress code of the summer was enforced at Diddy's White Party. One partygoer was forced to remove his off-white pants—in the middle of the street—and put on a more appropriate pair of completely white pants that were bouncer approved. Katie Lee Joel—Billy's wife—was also turned away at the door for wearing an off-white dress as well. Among those who showed up and passed dress-code muster were: Mariah Carey, Busta Rhymes, Donna Karan, Ashley Olsen, Star Jones and Tommy Lee.

After the jump, the rest of the weekend revealed...

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

The End: Summer's Over and More Bad News

The weather is perfect. At least we have that. But it looks like everything else is going to hell in a hand basket. So here you go, play along with us: Summer is Ending and...

So is The Patience of the Grounded: The anti-helicopter forces are building and gathering strength. "'It felt like Apocalypse Now,' East Hampton resident Kathi Goldman said at a recent public hearing." There's a movement afoot—headed by an investment banker no less—to conduct a formal study of the noise generated by plane and helicopter traffic into and out of East Hampton airport—which would be the first step towards banning or reducing flights. I-bankers, we'll see you on the LIE.

So is Your Marriage: They always trot out this little statistical anomaly at this time of year. "'People don't want to initiate something when they're in the Hamptons or in Europe,' said Robert Dobrish, a New York divorce lawyer." After Labor Day though? Sayonara sucker, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

So are The Freewheeling Sharehouse Party Days: Southampton has passed "a new law which requires that rental properties—a whole house or a single apartment—must be leased and used by a single family, and that no rental can exceed the number of persons permitted in the state's fire prevention and building code." So much for the kegger, kids.

Summer is dead. Long live summer.
· Hamptons Helicopter Gridlock Stirs Up Air Rage on the Ground [Bloomberg]
· End of the Summer, Time for a Divorce? [ABC News]
· Southampton cracks down on summer rental uses [Newsday]

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

SHAME: Henry Kravis' Neighbors Rally to Help Him

Anyone who's ever suggested that Hamptonites are rich, self-centered snobs who are interested only in their own welfare, hasn't seen what investor Henry Kravis's neighbors are doing for him today.

Concerned that Kravis might be forced to sell one of his numerous abodes, the "Southampton Alliance for Monied Estates (SHAME)" is mobilizing a protest to "Demand More Tax Breaks for Private Equity Kings." The press release announcing this effort continues:

Southampton "residents" will take to the streets Wednesday to demand more tax relief for buyout billionaires, including longtime Southamptonite billionaire Henry R. Kravis, inventor of the leveraged buyout and pioneer of the trillion-dollar private equity buyout industry.

Heartwarming, isn't it? Kravis might not be as moved as we are because the gathering is actually a protest organized by SEIU, a large service workers union that has been fighting the private equity giants and their practices, which often entail layoffs when taking over companies.

We're hoping the union isn't expecting sympathy at the corner of Main and Jobs in Southampton. That's private equity country through and through. And the only thing they'll get from passersby is looks of derision through the tinted windows of Mercedes SUVs, driven by ladies on their way to the Southampton Bathing Corp. for their evening Southsides, paid for by their private equity husbands and served by people who may in fact be members of SEIU. You gotta love this town.
· Union takes LBO protest to Hamptons [Reuters]
· Hamptons Residents Concerned Buyout Billionaire Neighbors Pay Too Much Tax [BehindtheBuyouts]

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Friday, August 24, 2007

In Heaven, Everyone Gets a Resident Beach Sticker

This is what happens when you give Christians a pail, a shovel and a weekend off. There's probably some deep metaphor that we could derive from sculpting the Last Supper out of sand (ashes to ashes, dust to dust...something like that), but it's Friday, so we're not going to bother.

Even more Jesus on the beach after the jump...

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hamptons Hurricane Hubris: The Wealth Paradox

Southampton Town has just released its 2007 Southampton Town Hurricane Survival Guide. Things we took note of while perusing predictions of our imminent doom include the fact that there is as much info about caring for your pet as there is for senior citizens. Also, wise advice is offered for those in three story homes: "Just because your third floor is above the storm surge, doesn't mean you're safe." Offering that kind of advice does the human race a disservice. If someone is dumb enough to try and stay on the third floor of their house, then they deserve to die. It's called Survival of the Fittest, where the weak—and in this case stupid—are culled from the herd.

The above map was also worth taking note of. Other than the pretty shades of yellow and red, there's a direct inverse between how rich you are and how screwed you'll be if a hurricane hits. That's some kind of biblical justice. And if you take a close look at this map, pretty much everyone is in trouble. North Haven is completely under water, ditto Sag Harbor and don't even look at the ocean side. Billions of dollars well underwater.

Like our main man Jesus said, the first shall be last and the last shall be first. Or at least oceanfront.
· 2007 Southampton Town Hurricane Survival Guide [Town of Southampton]

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Hampton Classic: Borat vs the Horse People

It's that time of summer when the horse people arrive. They're easy to identify as they're the ones who not only don't think their shit doesn't stink, they also think their horses' shit doesn't stink. Break out the big hats ladies and pretend you know what the Hunter/Jumper competition entails.
· Borat in the Hamptons [YouTube]

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Screening Squabble Redux: Saffir Strikes Back

Earlier in the summer there was a tempest in a teapot when the Cinema Society's Andrew Saffir and incumbent screener Peggy Siegal scheduled movie screenings on the same night. They made nice-nice in print, but below the surface, it was obvious that there was tension. Since then, all has been calm and other than a few party pics floating around, the screenings by both seem to have been excuses to eat popcorn and not much more.

Then, two weeks ago, Siegal held a well-attended (read: big names came) screening of The Kingdom. This past weekend, Saffir raised the bar again and brought out the really big guns for a screening of The Good Night, Gwyneth Paltrow's brother's directorial debut. Breathy write ups in The Post and The News followed, along with ample silhouetted coverage in New York mag where the boldfacers are asked about their dreams. (Our favorite is James Lipton's response to the question: What's your favorite recurring dream? “When I was covering ballet, I dreamed I was flying. I would jump into the clouds, and then I would levitate.”) Among the others who made an appearance were Chris Martin, Paul McCartney and daughter Stella, Billy Joel, Christie Brinkley, Dina Merrill, David Geffen, Sandy Gallin, Ed Burns and Christy Turlington, Donna Karan, Kyle MacLachlan, Kate Capshaw and Blythe Danner.

Saffir took a commanding lead with this one, so all that remains to be seen is Siegal's rebuttal. And she's never lacking for a rebuttal.
· Sneak Peek of The Kingdom [Plum TV]
· Gwynnie Offers Sympathy [NYP]
· Side Dish [NYD]
· The Cinema Society's Screening of ‘The Good Night’ [NY Mag]
· And the Winner Is: Siegal vs. Saffir in the Saturday Night Screening Battle [The Beach]

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Friday, August 17, 2007

The Hamptonzzz… Please Pass the Defibrillator

We’re catatonic here. We’re lying in a hospital bed somewhere, tucked in tight underneath white sheets, and a cute nurse is sticking a pin in our left big toe and we’re not even feeling it. It’s that bad. What happened? When did the Hamptons become as exciting as a stick of unsalted butter? Where are the good old days when gays were harassed on Asparagus Beach and Lizzie Grubman drove over people at clubs?

This isn’t some idle rant. We have the facts to back this up. So before we chart our demise, like responsible researchers, let’s take a look at the big stories of Summer ’07 before jumping to any conclusions. And try and stay awake here.

After the jump, more evidence that you'd ever care to read...

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Hamptons House Call: Raised by Wolves

Meet Dr. Seth Gordon, a New York pediatrician who spends his summers in the Hamptons making house calls and treating sick kids. So Mayberry/Norman Rockwell. So heartwarming. Nothing to give us pause here. Except for "well-known hair colorist" Sharon Dorram-Krause's rationalization about why she uses Dr. Gordon.

“'We always had the best veterinarian in the city, and Seth Gordon is the equivalent for babies,' she said." Was the actual train of thought here: "Well, we have a really good vet, maybe we should get a good doctor for our baby"? You gotta have standards so kudos in seeking out proper healthcare for your human child as well as your pet. If only we'd had that kind of nurturing upbringing—the kind filled with regular de-wormings—we might actually be productive members of society by now.
· For Sick Children in the Hamptons, a House Call Is Near [NYT]

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Monday, May 14, 2007

Protest Season: Al Sharpton is Heading East in Rap Lyrics Fight

Among those sitting in traffic at the end of the Sunrise Highway on Memorial Day Weekend will be, per the Times, “busloads” of protesters coming out to voice their opposition to rap lyrics. Following Imusgate, Al Sharpton has vowed to bring the debate to the doorsteps—or at least the hedgerows of the mansions—of the record execs who are behind the music business.
So who is he planning on coming to see? The Hamptons actually has pretty good representation among the “Big Four”— Universal Music Group, Warner Music Group Corp., Sony BMG Music Entertainment and EMI. Both Edgar Bronfman Jr., Warner’s Chief and Andrew Lack, Sony’s Chairman, have places in the Hamptons. Countless underlings also weekend out east as well. No word on whether Sharpton—threatening to wear a white suit—will hit the yoga mat with Russell Simmons, who has himself called for a voluntary cleanup of rap lyrics as well.

As soon as we get confirmation on the protestors’ schedule (Big Al: if you want to shoot us the sched, we'll post it right up) we’ll let you know where to go and join in. Because nothing says Memorial Day Weekend like screaming at a big house behind privet.
· Music Execs Silent as Rap Debate Rages [NYT]

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